The Somali Youth in Toronto: what is going on?

The majority of Somali youth are respectful to their parents and law abiding citizens who aspire to achieve great things for themselves, their families, their new country Canada and perhaps their ancestral homeland - Somalia.

Despite the successes of many and the bright future of these youth, there are an increasing number of Somali youth who appear to have strayed off the path to success and have turned instead to destructive behavior. Recently the Immigrant Post met with a mother who was helpless, dejected, worried and anxious of what to do with her son who seems to be headed down this troublesome path.Habiba was walking behind her son, who was wearing jeans that were about to fall off from his waist and which made his underwear visible to anyone who cared to look. The mother complained of her son clothing style and demanded his compliance and obedience to their culture and religion. However, the boy appeared indifferent to his mother’s appeal and seemed oblivious to her concern for him. She told him that she loves him and wants only what is best for him.Visibly distressed and unable to hold back the tears from her eyes, Habiba spoke of her ordeal of bringing him to Canada and her hope of seeing her son live up to the opportunities afforded to him in this country; peace and education.

Yet peace and education appear elusive to this boy as he dropped out of high school and was probably engaged in undesirable and detrimental behavior that may put his life at considerable risk of harm.Many parents are becoming increasingly upset, confounded and confused as they had hoped and expected to raise happy and well behaved children. Instead they now have to deal with unhappy, bored and defiant youth. What is going on? We can explore this phenomenon by looking at three different layers that influences and perhaps shape the experiences and behavior of these youth.From a family perspective, many parents uphold parenting methods that address the needs of the children in Africa despite the significant changes that have occurred to them through relocation and immigration. These changes have resulted in major transformations to the composition and dynamics of the majority of the Somali families, namely single parenthood. Consequently, many parents feel overwhelmed and unprepared to cope with these significant changes in their familial lives. Needless to say, these changes also have a major affect on our youth.We are often reminded in the old African adage “it takes the whole village to raise a child”, which captures the essence of caring for children in that continent, but the recent changes in the lives of many families and the lack of a supportive community networks that might have filled in the gaps that have emerged as a result of living and raising children in an individualistic and highly capitalist society perhaps erodes the efficacy of that wisdom.

Extended families and the existence of social networks foster cooperative endeavors among the parents and would give the youth an outlet to pursue their potential.The school system overwhelmed with the complexities of so many new Canadians attempts its best to provide the much needed cultural discourses on diversity, but seem to lack the necessary resources and skills to provide adequate support to an overburdened and possibly traumatized community.Many parents find it difficult to adjust to a society that seems to struggle to accept the cultural dimensions of new e Canadians. As a result, some parents feel that they are the target of structural discrimination and that has created enormous apprehension and fear that often immobilize their ability to positively interact with the wider community.

Experiencing and feeling the negative effects of oppression and systemic discrimination can severely limit the potential of this African community to effectively and appropriately provide for their children and youth. With these issues Habiba is not alone, constant friction between the parent and youth, and antagonism and disobedience to conform to the basic rules of the family and the community is an indication that a constructive intervention on multiple levels is required. Parents need to create an atmosphere where a dialogue between them and their youth can occur.Establishing a solid relationship with your children and youth is the beginning stages to positively influence them succeed. Two key elements of any relationship are acceptance and support. Acceptance, which is simply acknowledging your child’s existence without condoning the negative behavior sets the stage for tangible foundation of a strong relation, and by supporting, which is speaking about your child’s abilities and strengths and signaling to provide the means to fulfill their potential further solidifies the relationship. Once the parent establishes a positive relationship, then they can move on to tackle other areas of concern so as to keep their youth out of trouble and to be able to get them accomplish adequate

Performance academically and acceptable behavior socially.This is not easy as human interactions and maintaining relationships are difficult at the best of times. However, simply accepting and supporting your child and youth changes the unnecessary power struggle that can emerge because of the parent’s fear, anxiety and uncertainty that their youth are “defiant” and headed the “wrong direction”. Our survival as humans depends upon our children and youth. We need to nurture them, protect them, care for them unconditionally, and to assist them emotionally and any other means that help them develop and realize their potential. We must proceed courageously and fill in the gap between practice and cherished ideals, and attempt in these desperate times to galvanize and invigorate our drained youth.